


Of Hobbit-folk and Dwarven-folk and Sticky Toffee Pudding.

by McShepletGirl



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Food, Hobbit Culture & Customs, Mother's Day, Multi, general silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:58:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6850129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McShepletGirl/pseuds/McShepletGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some time after the events of 'If You Go Out To The Woods', Bilbo is happily settled with his husbands. But he still feels the need to educate his Dwarves on cultural niceties. This time it is the idea of Mother's Day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Hobbit-folk and Dwarven-folk and Sticky Toffee Pudding.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bubbysbub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbysbub/gifts).
  * Inspired by [If You Go Out to the Woods](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1408846) by [bubbysbub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbysbub/pseuds/bubbysbub). 
  * Inspired by [If You Go Out to the Woods](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1408846) by [bubbysbub](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubbysbub/pseuds/bubbysbub). 



> This was totally inspired by the absolutely amazing 'If You Go Into The Woods' - by bubbysbub. ...in particular the events in chapter 9. If you haven't already read EVERYTHING she has written then toodle off now and do it!

Bilbo settled back in his chair and puffed with contentment on his pipe. It had been a good day. Five meals had been consumed, and the toasted teacakes he had been offered for afternoon tea had really been very good indeed – fruity with a hint of spice and just dripping with butter. (The less said about yesterday’s sticky toffee pudding the better….Bilbo would have to go over the recipe with those Dwarves again. Although they had certainly got the hang of custard. As well they should, the number of times Bilbo had rolled up his sleeves and shown them.)

By the delicious scents wafting through the open door, Dinner was probably less than an hour away. Bilbo gave a deep sniff. Steak and Kidney pudding. 

Gimli looked up from the parchment he had been working on. 

“It smells good doesn’t it,” he grinned as he offered his work to Bilbo, “and we were cutting rhubarb this morning, so it’ll be crumble for afters!”

Bilbo’s stomach rumbled loudly at this.

“So, how did you manage with this passage?” he asked.

Gimli frowned as he pointed a stubby finger at the parchment.

“This bit, here, does it say the Dwarves lacked honour? My father has told me this story and as he tells it, the agreement was fair and accepted by both sides.”

“As it was. But you must remember that history is subjective. The same facts will be reported differently by different scribes. Also, here….” Bilbo indicated a portion of the parchment, “You have translated _faeg _as ‘mean’. A better word would be ‘poor’. Months after the treaty was signed, the Elves came to see the trade favoured the Dwarves but there was no suggestion of dishonour. Now, the lesson is over for today. Go and wash up, and get ready for dinner!”__

__As the young Dwarf scurried out of the room, Bilbo grinned to himself. He had never really expected to become a teacher, but had come to find it surprisingly rewarding._ _

__Teaching cookery had been a matter of survival. The Dwarves were a generous folk but had little understanding – at least by Hobbit reckoning - of culinary issues._ _

__Herb lore had been more an exchange of knowledge than actual teaching. Both cultures had much to share here._ _

__History had been a joy to teach – and to learn. As consort to the King, Bilbo had been granted unprecedented access to the Dwarven archives. He could have spent a dozen lifetimes there immersed in ancient documents and artefacts._ _

__Gimli was a delight to teach. He had approached Bilbo some months ago and asked for help with learning some basic Elvish. This was not a study that interested most Dwarves, but Gimli explained that he had been arguing about historical matters with one of Thranduil’s sons and was determined to prove the pointy-eared upstart to be wrong. This had led to Gimli coming for twice-weekly lessons in history and language and he had proven to be a keen if not exceptionally gifted scholar. He had also made a number of visits to the Elves, and Bilbo had his own suspicions on the reasons for this. Maybe some time he would share them with Gloin, and wouldn’t that be fun!_ _

__And then there was the teaching of Hobbit Culture. Seriously this sometimes seemed to be an uphill struggle. The Dwarves were keen enough. They all wanted to make Bilbo feel that this was his home. At first he had thought this was out of deference to his status. Being married to the two strongest Dwarves gave him a certain kudos. But more recently he had come to realise that he was actually liked for himself._ _

__Unfortunately, most of the Dwarves were confused by the niceties of Hobbit culture. The concept of Yule was still a mystery to many of them. Bilbo had tried to explain it to them…twice! And this year he would no doubt go over the concept for a third time. Maybe it would be a rehash of the talks he had had in previous years, but the Yule stories were good and deserved a third telling!_ _

__~*~_ _

__For now though, Bilbo was more concerned with the concept of Mothers’ Day._ _

__It had been difficult enough to explain that there wasn’t even one particular day that everyone could agree on as being Mothers’ Day. The important thing he had tried to explain was that on one day in spring, Hobbits liked to honour their mothers._ _

__Unfortunately this idea didn’t seem to come as naturally to the Dwarves._ _

__When he had first broached the topic of Mother’s day, Dis had advanced on him brandishing a frying pan with murder in her eyes._ _

__“Are you seriously telling my lads that they need only respect me on _one _day a year?” she demanded___ _

____Fili and Kili had sidled quietly out of the door at this – not that they were generally speaking cowards, but it had to be admitted that even Thorin had been known to quail under his sister’s glare._ _ _ _

____“Nnnnnno” stammered Bilbo, “But on one day a year they do special stuff….get you some flowers, make you breakfast in bed, give you a nice gift…”_ _ _ _

____“I get presents?”_ _ _ _

____Bilbo nodded._ _ _ _

____“Hmmm. Perhaps this idea has merit. Sit. Tell me more about it.”_ _ _ _

____~*~_ _ _ _

____“Good morning auntie Bilbo!”_ _ _ _

____Bilbo grunted and pulled the blanket over his head._ _ _ _

____“Happy Mothers’ Day!”_ _ _ _

____“We’ve made you breakfast!”_ _ _ _

____The blanket was pulled away and Bilbo gazed with bleary eyes on a far-too-wide-awake Fili and Kili sporting matching hopeful grins._ _ _ _

____“Sit up! We want to put the tray onto the bed!”_ _ _ _

____A stirring on either side of Bilbo confirmed his fears that his husbands were also awake._ _ _ _

____“Now look what you’ve done! You know they are neither of them cheerful in the morning!”_ _ _ _

____“It’s 5 O’clock!” growled Thorin. “The sun has not yet risen. It is the middle of the night!”_ _ _ _

____“The lads couldn’t wait” soothed Dwalin,” Come on Bilbo, be a nice Hobbit and sit up and have your breakfast!”_ _ _ _

____Bilbo obliged, muttering as he did so that he was probably going to need three breakfasts today instead of the customary two, beings as the first one was so early._ _ _ _

____The tray wobbled a little precariously but was certainly filled with plenty of good things to eat. Porridge with golden syrup and cream; boiled eggs with toastie soldiers; crumpets with jam; warm muffins, split and filled with honey; stewed plums with yogurt. And a very large pot of tea that was balanced half on-half off the loaded tray and was dripping its contents over the blankets until Thorin grabbed it and placed it on the night table._ _ _ _

____“There’s going to be presents too! Lots of them!” announced Fili as they cleared away the empty tray some time later._ _ _ _

____“There is going to be trouble if the two of you don’t leave us in peace right now!” threatened Thorin._ _ _ _

____The boys departed, chuckling and whispering to each other._ _ _ _

____As the door closed Bilbo yelped in surprise at being pulled back down onto the bed by his two husbands promising to show him just exactly how special he was to the both of them._ _ _ _

____~*~  
Bilbo walked through the kitchen gardens towards the gate. Lunch was over and he had time for a little walk before the present-giving. He stopped and turned as he heard Kili’s voice. A soft muttering and laughter followed whatever had been said, and then Kili was talking again. On a whim, having nowhere better to go, Bilbo turned and followed the voice.” _ _ _ _

____“You know we have told you all about this idea of Mothers’ day. It’s a good idea. We should acknowledge all the things that people do for us.” He explained._ _ _ _

____“Like cooking for us!” said a portly little lad, who looked enough like Bombur to tell anyone that he was his nephew._ _ _ _

____“Not just cooking, but other things too!” explained Fili._ _ _ _

____“Like teaching me to throw an axe? My ma taught me that!”_ _ _ _

____“And weaving, I learned that from Ma”_ _ _ _

____“Mine looked after me when I broke my arm….again!”_ _ _ _

____The youngsters were falling over themselves with suggestions, until Fili raised his hand for silence._ _ _ _

____“It’s not only Mothers,” he said, “You’ve made presents for others too….today we are thinking of everyone who cares for us.”_ _ _ _

____The little crowd nodded earnestly._ _ _ _

____“Like my sister – Ma has just had another baby and he needs lots of care, so my sister helps me with my braids”_ _ _ _

_______“My uncle Gruir! He has promised to take me as his apprentice in two more years._  
”  
“Bilbo! He makes the best puddings, his sticky toffee pudding was much nicer than the one made by….” 

____“Shhhhh! Today we are thinking of the nice things people do!”_ _ _ _

____Bilbo smiled to himself. He was clearly not the only unexpected teacher in this place._ _ _ _

____Kili motioned for the group to come close and sit on the ground near him._ _ _ _

____“It goes deeper than just other people. They are important, and it is right that we honour them with the gifts we have made and will give out later. But have you ever thought about where everything comes from? The fruit and berries that go into the pies you like so much? The silver, gold, copper and gems that we mine and turn into items of beauty and value. The rivers that give water for drinking and bathing…”_ _ _ _

____There were groans and smothered laughter at this last idea. Clearly a few of the younger Dwarves were none too fond of bathing!_ _ _ _

____“…the wood and stones we use for building. The hops and barley that go into brewing ale….”_ _ _ _

____A few cheers greeted the mention of ale._ _ _ _

____“It all comes from the land. Everything comes from the land. Everything. All is from the land, and in the end, all goes back to the land. Everything is connected. The land gives us all life. And so today we should think of this too. We can be thankful for our mothers. We can remember that others can do the work of mothers, even if they did not birth us. But we can also remember that the land – the earth – cares for us too. In many ways she is mother to us all too.”_ _ _ _

____Bilbo smiled softly to himself. Memories of sitting with his kinsfolk as they had first tried to explain this concept to the Dwarves came flooding back. Some of what had been said had clearly taken deep root._ _ _ _

____~*~_ _ _ _

____The present giving was well underway. Bilbo had a dozen and more gifts that he had been given with muttered thanks for his nurturing of the Dwarves over the last couple of years._ _ _ _

____Thorin walked over to a female sitting some distance away from the crowd._ _ _ _

____“With thanks, sister Rista, for the many hours you have spent listening to my troubles” he muttered softly as he placed a shawl around her shoulders – a thing of beauty was that shawl, in shades of deep blue and green with some sort of thin metallic thread woven through it. It fell in soft folds, somehow reminiscent of a waterfall._ _ _ _

____A younger Dwarf came up to Kili and tugged at his hand. Kili reached into a pocket and handed a packet over to the little one who gave a shy twist of Kili’s braids before running towards a slight female who had been sitting between Thorin and Dwalin throughout the festivities._ _ _ _

____“For you Mother, “whispered the child as she handed over the packet, “Kili helped me choose the stone myself, and he did the setting, but I polished it all on my own!”_ _ _ _

____Yrith’s shy smile towards Kili as she accepted the brooch spoke more than words, and Bilbo felt a lump rise in his throat._ _ _ _

____“Bilbo!” grinned Bifur as he approached, carrying a large bowl of….something. “I’ve made you sticky toffee pudding! To say thank you for all the food you have cooked for us!”_ _ _ _

____Bilbo sniffed dubiously at the bowl and took a spoonful of the thick, dark, stodgy contents._ _ _ _

____“Delicious!” he lied as he slowly chewed his way through the solid mouthful. There was nothing for it…he would have to go through the recipe again tomorrow._ _ _ _


End file.
